Monday, September 7, 2020

Prayer for Restoration

Jesus,

I am not perfect. I fall down and get dirty quite a bit. Each time, I reach out for a hand up, and you are gracious and merciful to give it to me. For that, I love You more.

Jesus, right now I am recuperating from a broken heart, once again. I blame no one but myself. I thank You that you have kept my vision clear and my heart in the right place. I ask for your forgiveness where I have failed, even though I know deep down that I do not deserve it.

I ask for Your strength, Your guidance, Your love, Your companionship and Your friendship as I do an about turn and attempt not to look back. I want to be where I was spiritually 2 years ago, when it didn't hurt.

I am praying for a miracle, Lord. I want to do things the right way. I am asking you to help me restrain myself and not try to get ahead of You in anything from now on -- because I have learned the hard way that to do so is painful.

Lord, I know You will take care of me. You have always provided for me and given me the care I needed when I needed it most. I am at Your will.

I am asking You to provide for my health right now. You know my issues. You know what I need -- mentally, spiritually and physically, financially.

I need Your courage, Lord. Your ambition. Your love. Your motivation. And, I thank You for the restoration that is at my fingertips.

In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, Amen

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Unfinished

Dear Father,

Thank You! Today I finally realized what You have been doing for me lately. You have not left me. You have been watching, waiting, letting me get dirty and wallow in the mud and gasping for air as I struggle not to drown in knee-deep water -- so to speak. You've let me struggle just long enough to realize that I truly do need You. Without you, there is NO struggle I can overcome on my own. And, it is time I realize that that includes the small things as well as the big ones.

They are ALL big things to YOU. At the same time, all of the problems that are mountainous to me is but a small hill in Your eyes.

Sometimes the miracles You perform are not the miracles we pray for, but the ones that are in our best interest.

You have, today, reached out your hand and set me before someone who needed from You the same things I need from You. And, You asked me to minister to them. In so doing, I heard everything You said to me as You spoke through me to them. I heard You loud and clear.

I want You to know that it doesn't make the struggle stop for me; but, it does make it easier to deal with. It gives me something else to focus on.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your wisdom and comfort. And, for the Hope You give.

I know You can still give me the miracle I want if You want to. I still pray for that, but I am no longer yearning for it. Thank You.

In Jesus' Holy Name I pray,

Amen


Friday, June 12, 2020

He Understands My Tears

Father,

I need You. You are the only constant in my life. You are the only part of my life that, no matter how long I am away, no matter how big my mistakes, and no matter how low or in the dark I feel, I know I can turn to You and feel as much love, with as much passion as I did when my life was full of brightness. You are my light -- sometimes the only light I see at the end of a dark tunnel.

You once showed Paul that in weakness You are made strong. You allow the weakness because it shows us how much we need You. It is so with me, today.

I need Your strength today, Father. I need Your loving hand to pull me back on my feet. I need Your lap to curl up in. I need Your loving arms to hold me and make me feel as if nothing else matters.

I am tired of being strong, Father. My heart feels like the un-cracked Liberty Bell on the 4th of July, ringing so loudly, as if to say, "I am here! Remember ME!" until it cracked, and turned into a strong symbol of what it once stood for. It has nice memories, but is incapable of being more than that in it's present form.

I am broken.

And, once again I am looking to You to fix me. And, I am broken even more knowing that the thread You use to sew me back together isn't made to handle what broke me again.

But, You are a God of miracles, and I am begging for You to use something besides that golden thread this time. Even so, be it, if You do. Perhaps I need the thread to remind me that I am not made for that struggle -- so I won't engage in it willingly again. And, in that way, Your strength is made through my weakness.

You are my boxing gloves and my knee pads as much as You are that tiny beam of light in the far off caverns of the dark cave I am winding through. I need that light to guide me on out.

Thank You Father, that I still hope for a happier day, even when I don't feel it right now. Let my tears water the garden, Lord.

In Jesus' Name, Amen


Sunday, May 3, 2020

My Heart, Your Throne

Dear Lord,

I want to thank You for "normal". I guess it's true that people tend to not appreciate things until they don't have them anymore. And, I am thankful, right now -- REAL thankful -- for "normal".

Sometimes, I guess, You have to take something from us to make us appreciate what You have blessed us with. I can understand that. Thanks, Daddy, for the disciplinary "grounding".

I'd also like to apologize for messing up. I tend to mess up pretty big when I mess up. And, now is no different. I took my eyes off You to focus on something else, just long enough to figure out that that isn't how to get the abundant life I long for. So, I'm going to remedy that, and I ask for Your patience, forgiveness, and help as I work toward that.

Also, I'm still praying for my "miracle". But, maybe that is something You don't think I need, so I need to be thankful for what I have and accept that You know best. I've always done that. I've always had faith that I am where You need me to be in life, and nothing happens without Your permission or will. But, Lord, I may be thankful for what You give me (or don't give me, whatever the situation may be), but it doesn't mean that my human heart doesn't long for more. Help me to stay content with what I have.

Thank you for dying on the Cross to save me from myself. As is probably evidenced by this prayer, I need a lot of saving from myself. But, You are always my best friend, anyway. I REALLY appreciate and love You for that!

Lead me, guide me, and show me the way.

Protect my health and those of my friends and family.

In Jesus' Name, I pray!

AMEN


Friday, November 29, 2019

Letting Go

It doesn't mean giving up. But it sure is hard to let go. God give me the strength to trust You. Help me to depend on Your Will. Give me what You think I should have WHEN You think I should have it. And, protect my heart in the process.

Lord, I give my yearnings to You to deal with. I give YOU what i am letting go of. I trust YOU with my dreams, my hopes, and my future. I know that You know what's best, even when I don't. But, I ask You to care for and protect what I am giving You.

Most of all, Lord, I ask that You help me be who I should be, and be ready to receive what You decide I should have...

In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, even though I know I don't deserve it...

Friday, November 15, 2019

Waiting

God, I don't know what You have planned for my life. I don't know what You have planned for my future. But, I'm going to wait and let You show me.

You know the desires of my heart. You know what I need. And, You are well aware of what I ask for with every breath I breathe each day.

You also know that I am not perfect. I sometimes try to get ahead of You. Sometimes I fail You. But, my love for You never waivers, even when You say "No"; even when you don't think I'm ready; even when YOU aren't ready.

Please keep my friends, and those I love more than life itself, safe and blessed each day. Give them hope. Help them to understand who they are meant to be. Give them peace and understanding. And, help them rest. Open their eyes so they can see the blessings You have placed before them, if they would just receive it.

And, help me be a blessing.

In Jesus's Holy Name I pray! Amen!

Friday, October 11, 2019

I Love You, Anyhow

Thank You, Lord.

You are the one I should hide in. Every time I reach out for something You don't think I should have, I fall flat on my face, and YOU are always there to say, "I love you, anyway."

When I feel like life is a practical joke, You are the only stabilizing factor in my life that keeps me sane.

When I feel like I want to run and hide under a rock somewhere and hide from the whole world, You coax me out, ever so gently.

When all I want is to be held, You warm me with your arms of grace.

When I need a friend, You listen, and Your shoulders are big enough for all my tears.

When I am scared to take the next step, You encourage me.

When I am too stupid to stop, You probably laugh at me, but help me get up after I hit a wall, brush my backside off with Your loving chastisement and love me, anyway.

When I want to hurry instead of wait, You put Your hand out and pull me back.

And, when I don't hear the words I want to hear, You always make sure I hear what I need to.

I love You, Lord...

Even when I'm hurting.

Even when I'm angry.

Even when I'm lost.

Even when I fail.

Even when I lose something or someone dear to me.

I love You, anyhow.